Screaming in the Car
Some battles do not happen in silence.
Some of them happen in a car.
Driving alone.
Music loud enough to fill the entire space.
There is something about being in a moving car that feels strangely safe.
No audience.
No expectations.
Just the road and the sound.
And sometimes, that is where the emotions finally come out.
Not in polite sentences.
Not in calm explanations.
But in singing.
Or shouting.
Or something in between.
For a long time I had difficulty expressing anger in everyday life.
If something hurt me, the feeling rarely appeared as anger.
It often arrived as tears instead.
Which makes arguments rather difficult.
But music changes the rules.
In a song you are allowed to be dramatic.
You are allowed to exaggerate.
You are allowed to shout things you would never say in a normal conversation.
There is only one small complication.
I no longer have a car.
So these emotional concerts now happen mostly in the work car.
Which, unfortunately, has the municipality’s logo on the side.
This creates a slightly strange situation.
Because when I sing loudly enough to release a feeling,
I sometimes wonder what people in the next car might be thinking.
They probably imagine a very enthusiastic municipal employee.
Which, in a way, might not be entirely wrong.
But still.
If someone ever sees a municipal car at a traffic light
with a person inside singing with suspicious intensity—
it might just be one of the battles inside Gloria
finding its way into the open air.
And strangely enough, after those moments, the world often feels quieter again.
Not because the problems disappeared.
But because the feelings finally had somewhere to go.
Sometimes a car is not just transportation.
Sometimes it is a small moving stage
where the battles inside a human being
can briefly turn into music.
[Verse 1]
I wait all day
I keep it in
Smile it off
like nothing’s been
Say “it’s fine”
like I don’t care
But something’s building
sitting there
[Verse 2]
I get in the car
I close the door
Turn it up
a little more
Windows up
no one sees
Just me and all
this energy
[Pre-Chorus]
It doesn’t come
out calm and clean
It comes out loud
and in between
[Chorus]
I scream in the car
like no one knows
Sing every word
like it explodes
Not how I talk
not how I speak
But everything
I never leak
I scream in the car
and let it go
All of the things
I never show
And for a while
I finally breathe
Something heavy
leaves me
[Verse 3]
I don’t get angry
face to face
It turns to tears
it leaves no trace
So I save it up
I let it stay
Till I can drive
it all away
[Pre-Chorus]
at a light
I sometimes see
Someone staring
right at me
[Chorus]
I scream in the car
like no one knows
Sing every word
like it explodes
Not how I talk
not how I speak
But everything
I never leak
I scream in the car
and let it go
All of the things
I never show
And for a while
I finally breathe
Something heavy
leaves me
[Bridge – spoken]
It’s not about the song.
It’s about finally saying something.
[Final Chorus]
I scream in the car
like no one knows
Sing every word
like it explodes
Not how I talk
not how I speak
But everything
I never leak
I scream in the car
and let it go
All of the things
I never show
And for a while
I finally breathe
Something heavy
leaves me
[Outro – half spoken]
I finally breathe