Quit Smoking
I’m trying to quit smoking
at least cut it down.
Even that feels hard.
There’s this moment
when I decide
I’m not going to take this cigarette.
Not forever.
Just this one.
And the second I think
I don’t need this
something in me answers
yes you do.
It’s not calm.
It’s not a thought.
It’s more like a push.
And the more I try to stop it
the stronger it gets.
I’ve realized something.
It’s not just the cigarette.
It’s what happens
when I say no.
The second I say no
everything in me reacts
like I’m taking something away
that I need.
Even when I didn’t feel it
that strongly before.
So I stopped saying no.
Now I say:
I can take it… just not right now.
I’m not quitting.
I’m not forcing anything.
I’m just waiting.
And somehow
that makes it easier
to let it pass.
Not always.
But more than before.
I’m not there yet.
I’m just trying to smoke less.
And even that is a battle.
[Verse 1]
There’s this moment
when I try to stop
Not forever
just this one
And the second I think
I don’t need this
something in me answers
yes you do
[Pre-Chorus]
It’s not calm
it’s not a thought
it’s more like a push
I can’t ignore
[Chorus]
I’m not saying no
I’m not starting a war
I just tell it
not right now
wait a little more
ooo… I can feel it now
ooo… but I don’t move
no no… not this time
I’m not giving in to you
[Verse 2]
It gets louder
when I push it away
Like I made it bigger
just by trying to change
And I see it now
it’s not the thing
It’s what happens
when I say no
[Pre-Chorus]
Everything in me reacts
like I need it now
even when I didn’t
feel it before
[Chorus]
I’m not saying no
I’m not starting a war
I just tell it
not right now
wait a little more
ooo… I can feel it now
ooo… but I don’t move
no no… not this time
I’m not giving in to you
[Bridge]
I don’t have to fight
I don’t have to prove
I can stand still
I don’t have to choose
Just let it rise
just let it fall
I’ve seen before
it doesn’t last at all
[Chorus]
I’m not saying no
I’m not starting a war
I just tell it
not right now
wait a little more
ooo… it fades somehow
ooo… when I don’t move
no no… not this time
I’m not losing me to you
[Outro]
Not forever
just not now
That’s enough
to slow it down
ooo… just breathe it through
ooo… let it pass
no no… not this time
I’m still here breathing
I’m still in control
Not right now…
that’s how I take back my soul